Bali Hash 2 Hash Trash Run 1484 Pantai Mertasari

HASH TRASH & REFLECTIONS ON BALI HHH II

Run #1484 Saturday November 21^st

Scribe: Nightjar

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NATURE NOTE

To begin on a joyous note:- Every morning since the last Hash Trash, the Goshawk has visited the garden, this morning (Nov 22) earlier than usual at 07.30, and I was well aware of its presence. Early to bed, early to rise …. Yes, COMING ROUND THE MOUNTAIN & RINGTAIL pushed me into PUTU GRAB’s mobile Ubud bound, where retired hurt at 20.00 – pathetic really. What the fuck …. BUS PERAMA had deposited me on the big bypass bend anap to run site at Mertha Sari. Paying little attention to TITTIES & EL – whatever happened to the UMBRELLA BAR? – I trundled along to corner of DANAU POSE & ON ON BAR, where spanking white limo of PAIN & PLEASURE squealed to a halt and offered me ride to the beach. Well thankee kindly. Turning into PENGEMBAK, whom should we espy but HARELIP, SHAT ON & TOILET TRASHER behaving oddly as only HARES do, but instead of tearing them to shreds as HOUNDS do, we carried on regardless.

Mertha Sari ain’t what it used to be. Nothing here at all. Nothing beyond Tanjung Sari, apart from coral temple and splendid White Oaks (Suar) and Complex Angkatan Laut tucked away in the bushes nearby. No buildings, no roads, no nuffink, We used to ride around here on Renata’s Arabs – she was Sigey Beil’s Housekeeper at the old Bali Beach. Does anyone else remember? Boring. Then came the Hyatt and Jl Danau Poso and …. What the devil is going on here? Building a new port I was told. Interminable jetty to which I was denied access: beach games area and sandbags still in evidence, but what are those masses of black metallic tarantulas doing? No one could tell me. Began to feel dizzy …. And the run? Bit of mangrove but the tide was in, then – horrors – the pack was led across the bypass road. There is a culvert near the junction of Danau Tempe; I once laid a trail through it: Better be nibbled by a shit-caked rat or cockroach than squashed flat by Benzin Truk, eh? Why no SCREAMING LORD & LADY? Trail went by their front door Good to see GAYLICK back in the running – been seven months in LOCK DOWN DOWN UNDER without a beer – really? Next week back to the hills with MOUNT & GROAN at BRES SELA.

Enuff sweaty slogs in the nether regions.

Run #1482 Saturday November 7th PAIN & PLEASURE AT PDAM WATERWORKS

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This was PAIN & PLEASURE’s run and no mistake. How to describe it? ‘A spit and s stride from’ the beer truck (Fletcher 1621) with minor variations. Good old colloquial and dialectic usage. That certainly set the tone for the occasion, and never mind a couple of tosses in the bamboo grove.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hare who was more concerned with the outcome. You know how the best intentions can deliver a fuck-up – it’s happened to me more than once – and there are hares who are too clever by half. But this well marked and checked trail was a triumph, even though stinking hot and mostly flat and not a million miles unadjacent to our capital city. With perseverance it can be done. P & P was ably assisted by DANDYPANTS and Nipesse who bears that unmentionable name, and the indefatigable IBM (INFLATABLE BEDMATE) who apparently enjoys being ‘Paper Bitch’.

What was CLOSET QUEEN’S role and why didn’t the bastard stay for customary DOWN DOWN after the event; and the less said about LITTLE FART – mercenary hare for hire – the better. Very good to see DEAD MEAT and DISCOWANKER – been a while – and I elected to accompany them for what was probably the most picturesque part of the chase – down to the river – Ayung you wankers – and across the spectacular blue bridge, strictly pedestrians and PDAM workers and hashers by special permission only. Did CLOSET QUEEN help to secure approval? If so, all is forgiven. DOWN-DOWN next time you bastard.

AMAZON coerced us into consuming five kegs at least though abetted by many visitors including foraminating rudeshirts from Bandung who were duly sariven by YWGMH. Respecting all ignoramuses, PDAM stands for Perusahaan Daerah Air Minum and YWGMH – Your Worthy Grandmaster Himself.

What else do you need to know? Unshod savages such as YWGMH must avoid swathes of putri malu ie Mimosa pudica which, like everything else, seems to be proliferating at this Covid-19 season. Birds and butterflies especially benefiting and near empty roads permitting LABIA to get from Aunan to Badung in under 40 minutes. Good show.

Oh, the Goshawks bypassed us in UBUD, but our monitors on Gunung Sega in E Bali reported many thousands heading over to Lombok. Then where do they go? Nobody knows. Let mystery remain.

And so this Friday the 13^th is the 26^th Annual Victor Awards, named after your very own YWGMH himself, at the Jimbaran Bay Beach Hotel with the Victor Awards Recovery Run the following day at White Sand Beach House the home of none other than our very own YETI and so On On to the Victor Awards!

Bali Hash House Harriers 2

Hash Trash Run #1480 Pura Mengening

BACK TO PAKRISAN RIVER VALLEY

Scribe: Nightjar

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No checks at all – No checks at all – We ran on a run that had no checks at all. Good Lord. I enquired of CONCRETE ERECTION the rationale of such a phenomenon. The explanation was that hounds would thus be enabled to traverse more arresting countryside than was customary. Silly of me I suppose.

Antediluvian dinosaur that I am, I have always maintained that a HASH RUN should abound with checks designed to keep the pack together and all back to the beer truck within the hour. Who cares? Fact is that, while only a few SCBs made it back before live, there were absolutely no complaints from anyone.

How indeed could any nignog protest such beauty and splendour as the Pakrisan gorge provides? Tell me.

From the Tirta Empui to Goa Garba vis Gunung Kawi no other landscape can compare. And everyone must have seen the hordes of Helena Birdwings along the

way, gleaming black velvet and cloth of gold, whose native food plant aristolocnia grows only in riverine forest.

Thank you to SLURRY IN A HURRY and COMING ROUND THE MOUNTAIN co-hares or CONCRETE ERECTION

for laying on a superb soto ayam, and to INFLATABLE BEDMATE for ration of rum to suitably commemorate the Battle of Trafalgar and Tralalgar Day (Oct 21 1805). And today (Oct 25) is St. Crispin’s Day, on which that other great slaughter of teeming frogs occurred – all the more reason to celebrate – at the Battle of Agincourt (1415 was it?)

For good measure CONCRETE ERECTION gave us ‘Band of Brothers’ suitably adapted to the occasion.

ON ON Ye noblest English – Cry God for England, Harry and St George – and so on.

Jolly good show.

Did anyone else note the remarkable absence or Frogs: all ran away …..

Successive shenanigans, nautical songs, Ou est le papier, Dinah ….

YWGMH obliged to retire at broaching of fourth cask; don’t ask why.

Still no Goshawks, though Su had unidentified accipiter overhead and I had large raptor at 16.30, cruising east, c, 800′, on 18^th – pale under and very broad wings – pretty sure Changeable Hawk Eagle on passage, but no blasted bins, soddit. Wot a wanker.

On On to the Kawi Resto in Tegalalang …

Bali Hash 2 Hash Trash

OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY RUN #1478

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Scribe: Nightjar

On up, way past Payangan and lychee avenue, practically to where coconuts cease to thrive, and we attain Gusto’s pleasure dome. Been here once before, Bali Hash 40th anniversary I think it was. Wot a spot. Wot you want? Best views and lavatories universally.

Earlier in the day and preceding night it had bucketed down, and one was mildly apprehensive of slipping, sliding and slithering slopes. But no, we were above the lowering rain clouds – and just as well for Sod’s Law amply demonstrated on run, given valleys and rivers intervening 3×2, and fairly tough going for even the hardiest in our midst.

Great checks – loads of ’em – and extremely effective; all sopping, none actually immersed but boys sweating and girls perspiring freely. Should have had a wet tee shirt contest – did we? Hares well done: Run of the Year Award at VICTOR AWARDS on Friday Nov 13^th? Get your ticket now – I’ve got mine – #001. Yippee!

To Hares: HARELIP, SERIAL OFFENDER, AMAZON & WHILE YOU’RE DOWN THERE – all kudos – last mentioned, a little bird informed me, not altogether enthusiastic about her given Hash moniker, And speaking of little birds, some forest beauties manifest for those with eyes to see and ears to hear, including, I was informed by no less an authority than INFLATABLE BEDMATE, radiant Mountain Tailorbird also well described as Golden-headed TB by older authors (like meself). Habitual skulker, the beguiling whistled phrase reveals its presence if not its form. And you will not find it below 2,000′. Drongo Cuckoo also heard and that other charming denizen of primary forest Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher, luminous ruby penetrating the gloom “like a lighted inner candle” (Jarvis). SERIAL OFFENDER feted with ginormous gateau – Get plastered you bastard, Happy birthday to you. Celebrated as well the birthday in 1861 of the Norwegian hero Fridtjof Nansen – pioneer Arctic explorer, Ambassador to the Court of St James, recipient of Nobel Peace Prise for rehabilitation of refugees following Great War. and not least Founder of the Kingdom of Norway, What a man! YWGMH and HORNY HERRING did the honours. DOWN DOWN.

And not forgetting ravishing nosh dished up by Gustra’s brigade. Exceptional. Some of us adjourned to FLY for one for the road, where YWGMH alerted by proprietor to proximity of OYSTERS. YES PLEASE. Unexpectedly good and ridiculously cheap. Go get ’em while they last. Thank you M and lovely PEJENG.

Next week at Br Demayu Tunon. See you there.

HASH TRASH & REFLECTIONS ON BALI H3 II RUN #1476

Scribe: Nightjar

A further sortie in the hills and valleys of Tegallalang with hares: BARNACLE BALLS, LIMPET, CUME ON YOUR BACK.

Really good though you would have to be pretty stupid not to lay a decent trail in verdant surroundings such as these. Sod’s law exemplified by two valley and one river crossings magnified twofold.

How wondrous are the ways of BALI HASH II. And what a fine turnout – 108 (including kids) intimated by RINGTAIL, recently returned from en forced exile. Very good to have you and 69ER back in the kennel.

Four kegs consumed largely thanks to JORROCK’s lively lad, irritating ankle-biter and call depilator of 20 years back who has developed into a charming pisspot and, on being duly iced, down-downed a hefty halt jug. Bloody good show.

And thankee to SCREAMING LORD for Alam Sar Cheese Catalogue 2020 – all productions local – clever Frog or Dago must be behind it, truly remarkable and unprecedented – particularly recommended stinky KEBIMA BLUE. Really no need for PHEELTHY PHROGGE to smuggle in supplies from Sarthe though highly appreciated – innit?

And nice to see BLIND DOG again, having been cast adrift on a Floresion island 30 years ago, and newcomer Theo who last hashed in Jakarta 35 ya and never since. ON ON chaps.

Magnificently situated, with ample parking, next to graveyard dominated by monstrous waringin (Ficus benjamini) adventitiously spread over good God’s acre, and teeming with birds and squirrels and lizards. Good spot for a pee. Usual tomfoolery exacerbated by the Mayor of Bayswater who had a naughty daughter. I recall a topical rhyming couplet as follows: She was fucked by a Hash House Harrier but the bastard wouldn’t marry her.

A few regulation military paces down the road another delight awaited. In huge letters the legend :- GREEN KUBU – with access gained by path excavated in hillside and affording egress via perilous drop below, but luckily there were bobok installed along the way. Great attendance yet again, state-of-the-art kitchen delivering first rate nosh and most agreeable and familiar staff. Nine out of ten, then back chez YWGMH for final flush and fling. Next week in the nether regions, or so I’m told at Pantai Lembeng. ON ON