July 2013 | By: The Scrutable Scribe
Uh O, Canada
Mercifully north and mercifully close this week we found ourselves outside pretty much The Big Cheese, Keyju Besar, Le Grand Fromage temple in Sukawati. (As it was Canada Day and in Indonesia, three languages was mandatory on all labels). This one is a ripper in the milieu of temples, a Platonically perfect temple with its huge decorative entrance and towering thatched wachamibizzos reaching heavenwards. A cliché of a temple the like of which is to be seen in every cheesy Bali painting in Ubud or cartoon in Bog Bog Magazine, nevertheless, a corker and a clearly imposing sight - much as Dick the Wonder Boy's socks were.
Our resident Canuck, a newly Brazilianised Yeti, set us off with dire warnings about river crossings and children. There were to be two of the former and none of the latter on the run, fortunately there weren't any anyway (children). Off we cantered, One Eyed Snake leading us astray up a wrong laneway into someone's house (as our one eyed snakes so often do in other areas of life). This was a run on which one had to be on one's toes. I basically spent most of it staring at them (toes) and catching occasional glimpses of the countryside, which I must say was surprisingly impressive considering the location. One false step and we could well have landed in hot water. As it turned out, it was cold water (cold enough to send the singing voice up an octave or two if you were not of the lofty persuasion) that we had to worry about.
The river was running at a respectable clip due to recent rains and the first crossing was, as advertised, a bit of a challenge. A misstep here could have sent you down to Denpasar on The Rock Island Line. The following up ups were pretty precipitous and fortunately, Mr. Pickles was on sabbatical. The section of the run around the back of the aloe vera factory was particularly fetching as was the descent from there challenging. The second river crossing at valley's bottom was positively hair raising and I was actively wishing I had packed the snorkel, fins and B.C.D. while groping like a rapist in foreplay mode at killer-asteroid sized rocks.
All in all it was pretty hard going for the old getaway sticks this week, but as always, fun, and that's what we were there for. Speaking of which this week it seemed that everybody but those in circle's centre was having it. The crowd, small though it was, just refused to shut up, perhaps it was the festive atmosphere of Celine Dion Day. Grand Master Night Jar managed to hold their attention, especially when threatening to suck wayward beer off various tits (certainly the female virgins in sucking range bore expressions of attentive concern) but Disco W. and Jangle B, had to struggle tragically against the tide of dissident and dissonant voices.
The sudden appearance of angry local City Fathers, put out because they had not been asked for permission for the event, was a tad shocking. I'm sure the hare had every good intention of seeking them out but had somehow not caught up with the appropriate local figures… or not. Hares: Please note that this should be done for every run, otherwise it makes it more difficult to have one in the same location again, if ever. Beer Meister Gizzard did some fancy footwork, and fortunately, all was well. We thank him for this, though I doubt somehow that he was impressed about having to do it.
Circle highlights: D. Wanker giving returned restaurateur Tucker Fucker a congratulatory down down for his possible new Jamaican/Chinese/Indonesian fusion dining experience "Rasta Sayang". Jangled Balls honouring Canada day with Bryan Adams' "In the Position of 69" and "Have you Ever Rubbed A woman?", Dick the Wonder Boy's socks and the temple at night vying for our adoring gazes, which is where we started and where we finish.
On on to Keliki, and the star spangled glory of July 6th.
