September 2013 | By: The Scrutable Scribe
A Pachy of Trogladerms
This week’s hash was very easy to find, due to the great mapping skills of our hare raiser, and perhaps also due to the fact that it was at Goa Gajah, that well known tourist attraction. Which, I have to admit, I have never actually been inside of…what exactly is in an elephant cave, herd of elephants, a pachy of trogladerms, the rare subterranean trunk packer?
The car park was definitely big enough for a few pachytrogs. It was also treeless, dusty and hot, with no shade in sight, so we could be forgiven for following the huge crowd that set off 10 minutes early. Which of course we didn’t, but it was jolly tempting, I know its not politically correct, or in the spirit of hashing and all that, but bugger me with a wooly mammoth, we were going crazy in the heat! At least by waiting we were treated to the sight of RMD hosing down the hoser… ha hardy ha!! Sweet revenge on behalf of all those unfairly drenched in the circle!!
White bait and Creepy put together a terrific run, beautifully shaded under tall trees, and ferns at the feet. There were rice paddies to slip in to, gnarly tree roots to trap you, and small streams to ford. It was delightful to see so many men bathing for a change, not that men don’t bathe, well, the dirty bastards don’t normally, and if they do they don’t smell like they do it thoroughly enough (did I just write that out loud?). The check backs were found, as usual, by those cheeky early leavers, what would we do without them? They sure saved us plenty of time.
Anyway, the run was lovely, not too short or too long, at just over an hour for the short. Even though it was insinuated that this site is a place we come to often and I could have written the trash without doing the run, I was pleasantly surprised. There were some lovely grottos and waterfalls, although, I have to say something about the enormous pile of rubbish that we encountered at one point, ah yes, the old enormous-pile–of-rubbish-in- the- otherwise-sylvan-countryside magic trick. I recognised this cunning sleight of hand immediately, sly bastards. The situation really is getting bad, and maybe we hashers need to take on a more hands on approach to help solve this before Bali sinks under the trash…just an idea, but one worth considering.
The circle was slow to get started but soon lurched in to quite an entertaining affair, with young lads showing off their muscles and proceeding to perform push ups inside the circle, which Hot lips and another petite woman seemed to take great pleasure in, the petite one surfing on one of their backs as he pushed up and down, and hot lips doing reverse push ups underneath the other chap. Photographic evidence will be available soon for the discerning. A great time was had by all. Unfortunately it did not end well for one of the whippersnappers as he was called to order for rudely referring to one of our more (ahem) mature members as “grandpa”, He was subsequently made to sit on ice until he repented his sin. Quite rightly so too, how very insulting, he needs to learn that this group is not about showing off muscles, or asserting oneself as a total dropkick, but is more about camaraderie, and mutual respect… so there. I hope this premature ejaculator was taken down a peg or 2.
There was still a dire lack of music in the circle, although a hymn book was presented to the hash master by RMD, so maybe we can expect some new songs in the near future, but hopefully Jangle Balls will be back next week to entertain us with his merry melodies once more.
Drivers were treated to another challenge while attempting to get away mildly under the influence, and dodging deepish holes in the car park. I don’t know what was more harrowing, trying to back up alone, and avoid sinking your car up to the wheel wells, or realizing you were being directed by a bunch of alcoholics (but I guess that’s what the hash is directed by and for at the start, middle and end of the day). Thankfully all managed to get away without any mishaps
As usual we all had great fun, many laughs and too many beers.
On on next week with 69er and Ringtail at Bukit Jati.
Acting Hash Scribes
